Personal New Year
September 1, 2009
I’m what you would call a late bloomer, so I’m not particularly worried; I’m also not much of a life planner either. Oh sure I plan meals, vacation, parties and things to look forward too, but goal… not so much. I’m more of a fly by the seat of my pants, roll with it kind of girl. It’s not that I feel like I have not accomplished anything or that I have wasted my time, on the contrary I really feel fortunate that luck or god’s good grace has been on my side. But still … There is a lot I want to do, and I’m a list maker.
#1. Consider myself an artist!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m an artist. I’m a photographer. Better yet, I’m a “fine art” photographer. Don’t get me wrong I love photography and really I’m fortunate enough to make my living with my camera. But it’s really not the kind of art I want to make anymore. It’s the kind of art I get paid to make. Here’s the thing, the part of photography that I loved the best, the rush, the fulfillment came from working in the darkroom and watching my images, my vision develop in the tray. Heck I loved the entire process, exposing the film, mixing the chemicals, processing the film waiting…. Was I able to capture what was in my mind’s eye on film? I loved the feel and smell of holding the wet negatives up to the light to see if I had gotten the shot. I loved everything about the photography process the wrinkled fingers from being in chemicals far too long. The fixer film that built up on your teeth after working in the darkroom. All that I love about photography has changed and I miss, I mean really miss getting my hands dirty.
I’m an artist, without a medium. I need to find the fulfillment the joy, the love I once had for the photographic process.
PERMISSON TO PLAY; ok so 44’s not so bad and maybe neither are goals.
Deep breath… Goal; to have found and developed, my artistic medium by the time I’m 50.
Ready, set, go!
